Ever have the feeling you are being watched?
Kind of unnerving isn't it?
Now imagine how much more unsettling it is to discover that you are.
For years I had, had strange events happen in my life that made me wonder if I was at the center of some big covert investigation.
Could be, but just because you are paranoid does not mean you are not being watched.
For years I did not have a telephone, I know that seems unbelievable these days.
Being that I had no phone, all calls I made had to be made from public phones for I would never ask to use the phone of friends to make a call just because that is the way I am.
When I lived in the Bronx and was in walking distance of most of the people I wished to contact I had no real need of a phone anyway, but this all changed when I moved to Brooklyn.
As my use of the public phones increased I began to notice that any time certain words were said during a conversation soon after that a police car would cruise slowly by.
I was made aware of this by the following incident.
I had called my brother Mark and was telling him that it seemed East New York was in the middle of a drug war and was talking about the fact that in all the 32 years I had lived in the Bronx I only heard one gun shot and that was the very night before I had moved, but the same night I moved into my new apartment there was a shoot out in the streets and I heard Uzis, rapid fire hand guns, and shot guns all at once, yet I never heard a police car any time after that.
Moments after I had made this comment a police car turn the corner and slowly cruised by the phone booth.
I was eyed suspiciously by one of the officers inside.
True I was new to the area and I felt that was why he had looked at me in that manner, but I had never felt that way before and so it made a lasting impression on me.
I became aware that every time I was on this phone if I complained about the policies of City Hall, Albany, or Washington, anything with the government a police car would soon pass by, and I would be eyed.
Then one day as I stood talking to Ralph at the same row of phones I saw that there was a black repairman in grey coveralls with a matching grey helmet working on the forth phone down from me.
Nothing wrong with that in my mind for the "Crack Heads" were always messing up the phones trying to rob them, so I was glad to see he was there fixing them, for this phone row had become my life line to my friends and family in the Bronx.
As I was talking a woman walked up to use one of the three phones between me and the repairman, placing a unused phone between each of us.
"Well I am glad they are finally fixing these damned phones out here." I said.
"That or replacing the bugs in them." Ralph said and laughed
That's when the repair man stepped away from the phone he was working on looked to me smiled and removed the walky talky that hang on his belt and spoke into it and said, " Can you hear me now? "
"Yes I can, loud and clear!" a mans' voice suddenly came over my phone.
"Did you hear that?!" I exclaimed in to the hand set to Ralph.
"Hear what?" Ralph asked while at the same time the woman next to me thinking I was talking to her turned toward me and said, "I certainly did!"
The man in the grey coveralls laughed at our shock as he walked back to the truck and got in.
I and the lady both ended our conversations, the next day I went to get a phone installed.
A day later a man from NYNEX came to install the phone a young kid in his early twenties blonde blue eyes very friendly.
Seeing my many keyboards he said he was a musician too and played guitar for he was with a band.
I was surprise that he would come into such a dangerous area as I was living in for I was expecting that they would send some one Black or Latino.
He wasn't there for more than fifteen minutes before he left and called back to tell me I had been connected.
I thanked him and told him to watch his back as he was working in this area as it was not safe for him here.
Brooklyn back then ( the early 80s ) did have the highest murder rate in the country at that time and had been nick name by the media as Dodge City.
(By the way, despite the bragging of Giulliani today it was the policies initiated by David Dinkins that bought the crime levels of New York down to what they are today.)
He thanked me for my concern and said he would be careful.
I was surprised by his speed in connecting me for my last experience with the phone company was Ma Bell years before and that was a long process when they put one in my mothers' home.
The new phone was a blessing and I wondered how the hell had I survived with out one so long, but only a week later it went dead.
I thought that it was because the kid had installed it so quickly, or that maybe my warning had so frightened him that he had been rushing to get out of the neighborhood so possibly he may have messed up somewhere outside, I said nothing about it though.
NYNEX apologized for the problem and two days later a repairman came to repair the phone.
A black haired blue eyed Italian fellow, whom quickly checked my inside phone connections and finding nothing wrong left and called back a few moments later from the phone box down the block and said that he found the problem and that I would have phone service the next morning which I did.
Outside of weird noises, crank calls, silent calls, hang ups, and sometime hearing people talking on my line when I picked it up, which I thought were the new cordless phones which were just becoming popular at that time I had no real problems for two months or so.
Then one day the phone again went dead.
I again called NYNEX and this time I hit the ceiling when asking them why it was that this kept happening.
They seemed to be just as perplexed about it as I was.
I said I was disabled and needed the phone and that I wasn't willing to put up with having to wait for another three days with out service like I did last time and they said that I would be given top priority and first thing in the morning they would send their best man to find out what was going on.
Just as they said the next morning my doorbell rang and it was the young man who first installed the phone he checked the wiring and again found nothing wrong and said that it had to be coming from the phone box down the block and that if he could correct it he would call me back from there and left.
A few minutes later he called me from the box and said he had found the problem.
He sounded confused as he slowly said,
"Mr. Gilbert...... It seems like some wires has been pulled apart here....... As if something had been put on your line and had been quickly removed."
"what do you mean?" I asked puzzled more at his tone then by what he was saying.
"I don't know what it was, but it looks like someone had placed something on your phone line ........ And then just yanked it out and left the wires dangling.... But you should not have any more trouble now your service has been restored....
You take care and.... Be careful... "
It was the way he said that last be careful that let me know that something of a very ominous nature had gone on with my phone service for he seemed genuinely spooked by what ever he found there.
Years later in 1993 as I was at home not really watching the tv but just letting it run as background noise as I often do.
There was a foot ball game on like all sport events do, this one had ran into over time, I hate sports.
I was waiting for the game to end for I wanted to see and tape a show that was to follow it, and I knew if I did not let the set run I could very well miss the program I was waiting to see, so I just let it drone on.
Suddenly a deafening whistling noise like the screeching feed back of an open microphone issued forth from the set.
Thinking I was going to catch a live on air blooper I clicked on the VCR to catch this noise on tape, and when the commercial came on and the noise stopped I rewound the tape and played it back.
To my bewilderment the noise was not on the tape.
For sometime before then I had, had strange sounds come from my set.
Yes I know I could have just picked up a broadcast from a taxis radio and there is a dispatcher right up the block from me, so they were suspect.
Still every time they did cut in on a program I was taping they came out on the tape itself but these noises did not.
When I stopped the play back the commercials were still running and suddenly the squeal of feedback came again I knew then it was not a open mic from the game.
I raced into my bed room and brought out my cam corder and sat it up in the living room then let it tape while letting the VCR tape also.
After awhile the noises began again and as before when I stopped the VCR tape and ran it back their was no noise, but the cam corder had picked it up.
I have had much experience with open mic being a musician so I knew the noise was the of feedback, but that fact that it was not on the VCR tape but on the cam corder tape meant there was an open mic.
The only way this sound could be generated was if there was an open microphone within my home itself, but where?
My tv?
What tv comes with a built in microphone?
The noise came from my tv there was no doubt about that.
Still this never happened again and, no I never had the set checked for and open mic, but I do still have these tapes.
Bare in mind this was the replacement set for the one that blew out after my back yard encounter with what I called Big Foots' Ghost see Skyroglyphics.
It was my fifth replacement set for all the others I had received before this one had malfunctioned.
Still one more point to this is that this set is also the same set that later after I got cable began to display strange letters and numbers and sometimes Chinese looking writing about the screen.
It would stop working and for weeks on end and would show either a black screen snow, or herring bone patterns, just to start up working again with out reason.
I was never able to tape the Chinese looking symbols but I did get pictures of the equation looking numbers and lettering that did appear on it.
Some time later it was explained to me by UFO investigator Alex Cavallari to whom I had sent the pictures, that he had been told by some one who worked with cable tv that the set was somehow reading off the code of the cable company and that he had no idea of how it could be, or why it would be doing that.
Was some one interested in what programs I was watching?

Above you see a picture and a blow up of the herring bone pattern and the "Equation?"

that appeared on my television soon after I had cable installed.


The weekend before the feedback incident I had attended my first meeting with a Abductee support group called S.P.A.C.E which back then stood for
Support Project for Abductees Contactees Experiences today their complete agenda has changed though the name hasn't but now the meaning has.
( See The True Monsters and Quantumantics)
I entered this group only because of an article I had read in a news letter they had sent me called " The Scent OF Flowers." because some of the reports in the article had mirrored and event that occurred with the death of my brother Ralph I went to the meeting that Sunday.
The following week after a doctors appointment, I went to have lunch with my brother Mark and as we were eating at this Chinese Restaurant he suddenly said,
" You know something weird happened yesterday (Monday) when I was eating here.
I was sitting at this same table when I became aware that some one was watching me and I looked up and these three Jews were taking pictures of me.
When they saw I saw them they all jumped into the back of a truck and roared off.
"How did you know they were Jews?" I asked puzzled by this strange turn of the conversation.
"They were all dressed in black." Mark answered.
Mark was not aware of the Men In Black phenomena as I was and had not grasped the meaning of what he said had happened.
I did, I had just joined a group that deals with abductions and now my family members were being photographed by the M.I.B.
That was when I told him about my attending the "Gathering" the Sunday before and explained to him about the men in black.
Then and there Mark warned me against S.P.A.C.E.
That's what I thought too, then it happened as I sat up late one night, because of the pain I was experiencing from my recent back injury I was unable to sleep and so as I normally did at such times I turned to music to get my mind off my back.
I was re mixing a music piece I had composed earlier that year and as I always have I used a collage of guitar foot pedals, electronic effects, and echo chambers to distort and modify the music as I re- recorded it before I would add the lyrics on top of it.
Being that it was late at night about 2:30 to 3:30 AM.
I had my head phones on but the pain in my back proved to be to much to ignore so I just paused the recorder and sat there silently cussing in my mind the events that had brought me to be in this painful situation I was now in.
Suddenly as I sat there, clear as a bell over my head set I heard a male voice say,
"So what's he doing now?"
"He's just sitting there", came another male voice.
So why is he just sitting there?", the first male voice asked.
The other male voice smugly answered, "Maybe his back is hurting him."
Startled and aghast I exclaimed, "Oh shit!" aloud into the still open mic.
"Shit, he hears us!" was the next remark that came over the head phone followed by a loud click then silence.
Yes, being a musician I am familiar with the fact that foot pedals and electronic effect devices will pick up radio and CB waves.
So I was aware that I could have been picking up a police transmission but then I must ask,
Who were they?
How would they know about my back?
How would they know I was just sitting there?
One day after I had attended a S.P.A.C.E Gathering where we were given phone numbers that could be used to see if your line is tapped I received a surprise visit from my brother Mark.
He had taken the day off from work and stopped by to see if I wanted to hang out with him which of course I did.
I was living alone at that time and the truth of it I feel he did these surprise visits I feel just to make sure I was OK.
Before then I had been telling him about the many strange events that had been happening after my abduction, and of the strange and annoying calls that I had been receiving after my appearance on the Jackie Mason show.
I told him of how I once came in to find my answering machine just finishing up playing back my messages, then rewinding preparing to erase them.
I often had problems with phone weirdness before then but after I started attending the Gatherings it all increased in frequency and "bizarrity".
We were heading out to Governors' Island when he received a message over his beeper.
He returned the call and found that it was from one of his sons' school so we had to head back to the Bronx.
When we arrive there it was just a minor problem but because we had burned up the extra time he had to spare coming back to the Bronx we just returned to his home.
We had no sooner walked through the door when his phone rang and he picked it up.
He looked puzzled and after saying a couple of hellos hang up the phone.
"Who was it?" I asked.
"No one it was just a bunch of weird noises." he said.
Then the phone rang again, he picked it up and again the look of annoyed bewilderment swept his face and he gave a open palmed jester toward the headset with a shrug.
"Let me hear it." I asked and he handed me the phone.
As he had said it was just a bunch of garbled noises.
It was not FAX noises, not computer babelizations, but sounded like the sounds you receive over short wave radio a combination of Morse Code beeps and satellite chatter.
I hang up and gave him the two numbers I had received over the weekend to call to see if his line was tapped.
The local line proved to be clear, but the long distance line registered as tapped.
I told Mark how there was a tapping technique where you would be given a call and once you hang up the caller could hear what was being said in the area of the phone though you had hang it up and told him how to brake that connection.
I told Mark that my feeling were the calls were just made to let me know I was being watched and "they" who ever that they is, were aware of my every move and could "reach out and touch" me where ever it was I would go.
I also felt this was away of letting Mark know that he too was being watched maybe as a way of warning him away from me.
As if such warnings would work, well I would be lying if I said it did not have an effect for in truth I do not visit Mark as much now.
But that is also because our life paths have now taken separate directions.
Mark and I being the devoted Patheons (Travelers on the path to enlightenment) that we are follow each the path laid before us.
Marks' path seems to have lead him to the answer he sought.
My path has lead me to an ever churning river of rapids, eddies and torrents of more questions the most perplexing of all these cascading questions are,
Who were the they that monitor me, and why would they?
Why would the man in grey coveralls let me know the phones were being taped if he was the one planting the bugs?
Was he working for the police, the C.I.A, F.B.I, N.S.S, or against them?
If so who was he working for?
It was a deliberate act on his behalf to let me know what he was doing.
He looked me right in the eyes as he lifted the walky talky to his mouth and started talking.
Later it did come out that the police department were found to be spying on those of the minority community and Police commissioner Brown left his office.
Was this a ploy to get me to get and inside phone?
Then why bother to bug me at home and then suddenly remove the tap and leave the wires dangling?
Why not, not let me know you have been tapping my phone?
Who yanked out the tap in such a way that I would be made aware of there having being one there in the first place?
Is there two agencies at war with each other?
On watching and the other watching over me?
One thwarting the efforts of the other?
By the way recently after I put the pictures of the object I removed from my back on site I began to have trouble signing on the Internet and working on my site.
I should say more trouble than normal that is, because a loud crackling and hissing started to come over my phone service.
This was after I found a black man in blue coveralls working on the phone lines in the yards down from me one Sunday morning.
After that the noise started and I could not sign on line for awhile so I called Bell Atlantic who has since brought out NYNEX and now is my local phone service provider they sent out a man to repair my phone line, it was the black haired blue eyed Italian fellow.
After that I started getting calls that my answering machine would answer, for because of the harassment I never answer my phone directly with out knowing first who is on it.
The caller never speaks but there is a series of three evenly spaced weird beeping noises made.
Yet when I check the machine the message is clear it never records my caller ID does not register the call.
I just this Friday April 25 1999 received a call from a friend Ralph that I have been speaking to over the phone for over three years in which he told me about receiving a call in which a strange beeping sound was heard three times, each time he said hello he received no answer and one he hang up the phone the call would come again and do the same thing.
When he asked his mother about these calls she said they had been happening awhile now and she had been ignoring them, when he asked her how long ago this started she said about two months which was when my calls started the day after I put my implant on the web and called Ralph to tell him about it.
Paranoia you say?
You damned straight!



The Conspiracy Of Silence


Into The Darkness