Ghost Shards, Implants, And Little Blue Doctors
For a long time, I had three main reoccurring fragmental memories.
I call them "Ghost Shard memories" for they are from a point so far back in my life that they were never clear, but they were so emotionally intense that they would not allow me to write them off as " Dreamental Fragmentations " although I tried many times to do so.
They have been with me as long as I can remember and originally had no connection to anything until I reached my thirties.
The first one was that my parents, my siblings Theresa, Chuck and Ralph, and I, were all laying on mattresses on the floor of the living room of our apartment in 1404 Prospect Avenue.
We could not move and my eyes were fixed to the pattern off the rust spots on the tin ceiling.
There was a deafening noise or buzzing all around and I could here my fathers helpless cries of terror and my mother screaming above the roar,
"Close your eyes, close your eyes don't look at them."
It is because Ralph was just a baby then I have to place my age as about a year and ten months.
That is my oldest " Ghost Shard. "
The problem with this "memory" was that at no time did our family ever lay down altogether on the same bed or mattresses pushed together on the floor.
It was during the summer that I remember this occurring because the door to the backyard was open and it was not cold, but we would never have laid down to sleep with the back door open.
The Second is in two parts.
The first part is of me and my two elder siblings trying to crawl under the back seat of a car.
I believe it to be either my Grandpa Posey's Packard or it was my Uncle Jun's Buick, for I remember that the car had running boards.
The second part of the Ghost Shard is that I am laying in the back of that car looking up into the night sky.
We are pulled over on a dirt roadside in the dark woods of Virginia again my mother is calling to us to hide, or lay down in the back of the car and to cover our eyes.
I know this had to be sometime later because I remember that Ralph had been left at home for he and my cousin Marcy were so young that they were both in diapers.
So I place my age at about three or four, for Ralph was just learning to walk then also.
Being that we only went down south during the summer I'd have to say that I may have been three I was born in September.
It was dark, and this was summer, so I know it had to be after nine o'clock.
That is the problem with this memory, this was during the fifties in Virginia.
The Klan and lynchings were in full swing back then I could not imagine why we would be parked on a dark dirt roadside so late at night.
Then there was the Invisible Ghost Shard.
This memory had no visual components to it, but consisted totally of a scent and a taste of a frank, that compelled me on a twenty five year quest, which would culminate in uniting these shards into one huge mystery and answer.
When I was in the forth grade out of nowhere I developed a craving for a certain scent and flavor of a frank.
When I had the money to do so I would sneak away from the school yard and go to the Hebrew Deli at the corner of Clairmont Parkway and Washington Ave.
I remember as I walked in the look the owner gave me when I said,
"Excuse me but I am looking for a certain kind of frank."
"We only have Kosher franks here young man." he said.
"Ok," I said not really knowing what that meant and said " Give me one of them kosha franks then."
That began my first sampling of the different toppings people used on franks.
After awhile even the owner got into it for he saw I was really obsessed about getting the exact flavor I was searching for.
Then one day he said,
"I have been in this business all my life young man that's all the ways I have seen a frank eaten.
Is it a frank you are looking for, or manna?"
His joke went over my head and the others present in the deli laughed.
I felt a little embarrassed and I thank him and started to leave.
As I was walking out he came around the counter and said to me for he did not mean to embarrass me,
"Look young man if you ever find your frank bring me back one, and I will sit down and eat it with you even if it is not Kosher."
We never did share that frank.
Before then I was like any other kid about hot dogs, I liked them, but no more than any other food and to me a frank was a frank they all were the same.
My search for this frank for years proved fruitless, and so because of this I eventually attributed it to a brain fart and pushed it to the back of my mind.
Still as a result of it they became a staple of my diet, and I unconsciously restarted my quest for this flavor when I grew to adulthood and got a job.
This "Hidden" quest for this flavor would eventually lead to my sampling franks at almost every hot dog stand I came across from one end of The Bronx, Manhattan, Queens and Brooklyn to the other.
The pieces started to come together in 1985 with Ralph and I planning a trip to Virginia to visit our parents.
Our parents had moved there some years before then and Ralph had planned a surprise trip to visit them and pay our baby sister Janet's way from Washington State, thus bringing our entire family together at one time.
I didn't know at that time why he was doing this, was that he was aware that he had AIDS, and wanted to see us all together as one family, one more time before he died.
Back then both Ralph and I worked at the Federal Reserve Bank Of New York, and although we worked in two different sections it seemed we would not be allowed to take our time off together.
I had asked for the time off a year before then but had not received an answer and so Ralph held up his vacation time until such time I did get and answer, but when a week before he was scheduled to go on leave I had not received an answer to my requested time, Ralph canceled his vacation.
The moment he did this my assistant chief came down to tell me that I could have the time I requested off and I basically told her to shove it and that she could go back up stairs and tell them I no longer wanted the time off, for I knew then this had been deliberately done by those higher up in the bank.
"After all that trouble I went through for you!" she complained to me " I had to fight for you to get this time off!"
"Well I asked for this time off over a year ago didn't I?" I asked her.
"Yes you did " She said.
"And not once from that time to this did you tell me anything as to if I got that time or not, did you?"
"No," she answered sheepishly.
"So I had no way of knowing as if I was to have that time off, or not did I?"
" I guess not."
"So I couldn't plan anything for it so now you can just turn around and go back and tell them I don't need it!"
She spun around irate and stormed out of the office by the time she returned I was being carried out on a stretcher I had injured my back and that was the last time I was to see her for because of my back injuries and nerve damage I was forced to retire on medical disability.
This was to begin a seven year battle with Social Security and Workers Compensation and a seemingly endless chain of test and Xrays.
I was sent to Brooklyn Hospital by the Board of Compensation for Xrays and I had the same problems back then but I had no idea as to what was causing them.
As the technician was trying to Xray my head neck and shoulders she kept having trouble getting a clear picture.
She grew aggravated, turned the machine up very high, and that is how she finally got a picture, but it was a very dark picture, too dark.
She asked me if she could try it again and I said, "Hell no!".
I then thought it was because she didn't know what she was doing and told her as much and so ended up arguing with her for I said she had already taken too many pictures.
I had a terrible head ache after that and when I was told years later to go back to the Brooklyn Hospital for Xrays and a Cat Scan I was very upset but I knew that I had no choice.
When they took Xrays of my right foot where the ulceration was, they again ended up having to do that over, and over again.
That foot is were I have a mole that appeared over night when I was a child, but more on that later.
It was during 1986 that things started to unravel.
This first started with my chance meeting of an old friend of mine Bernard Mercer, a singer with my one time band Point O.
I invited him to my home and as we were sitting, talking and laughing, about the old days my VCD movie player, suddenly turned on and primed itself for playing.
This was the old type of movie player not laser disc, and most certainly not remote controlled.
You had to manually push the button to turn it on, push it again to make the door open for the VCD to be entered, then push it to start it to play.
It did this all by itself, and I asked my guest to check it out to see that there were no gimmics hooked up to it.
I years later was able to get his testimony of the event on video tape.
That night, Ralph came over to visit.
It grew late and Bernard had to leave I rode with him to his stop on the subway for there were still things we had to talk about, and being that Ralph was staying over night I knew we could talk later.
When I returned home my room mate Jaen (pronounced Hai-ean) Garcia and Ralph were talking.
They had been friends since High school and had entered the armed services together they as usual were talking about the good old army days as I entered.
We watched some tv and I said my good nights.
Jaen, and Ralph staid up talking a little longer I pulled the day bed out of the storage room for Ralph and went to bed.
That night, I had a dream that Ralph was very sick and had been taken to a hospital that stood in the main lawn of a park not far away from me this park is called Lincoln Terrace Park.
Of course this hospital does not exist, but more on that later.
As I entered the building the lobby was circular and had two huge orange gold colored ring lights, one atop the other, that ran completely around the top of the room, which was made of deep green marble with yellow white striations in it.
Everything in the lobby was made of this marble the walls, floors, the benches, the desk, the pillars about the room.
The whole thing was as if it was just carved out of a single piece of the same block of deep Jade marble for everything was attached and seamless.
There were three nurses in white outfits like those worn in the fifties.
I asked to see my brother Ralph but they just said,
"Your brother is with the Doctors now, come back later."
All this dream consisted of was me going back and forth to the park hospital and being told my brother was with the Doctors.
When I awoke from this annoying dream, as I was walking to the bath room Ralph who was sleeping in the living room suddenly sat up and said,
"You know this light came on last night?"
He was talking about the ceiling light in the living room.
It hadn't worked for most of the few years I'd lived there so I used table lamps to light the living room.
"Are you sure this light was on?" I asked.
"Yes" he said " but it looked funny it was orange."
My stupid dream of the nurses popped into my mind the light in the lobby had those two huge orange gold ring lights in it's ceiling.
Being that he was up I went to the kitchen to put on some coffee.
"You know that's funny," I said "I had this foolish dream about these huge orange ring lights too, maybe it did come on, and I noticed it as I was shifting in my sleep, then merged it with my dreams."
"What did you dream?" Ralph asked.
"Well I dreamed that there was this hospital in the park and..."
"Wait a minute!" Ralph interrupted,
"That was the other thing that happened.
I dreamed these three little blue Doctors came in here last night and one of them had this box with what looked like two long knitting needles sticking out of one end of it in his hand." "What did they do?" I asked.
"Well I asked the one with the box what are you going to do with that?
And he said, " There is something wrong with your breathing."
and I told him I was asthmatic and asked him what the box was for?
He said "We want to insert this into your chest."
The hell you will!" Ralph said, he'd said.
"What happened then?" I asked.
"Next thing I knew you were coming out of your room and woke me up."
"Well that is really weird." I said and began to tell him about my stupid dream with the light and the nurses telling me he was with the doctors all night then suddenly Jaen's bedroom door opened and he stepped out of the room and looked to the clock above the door and then to the VCR and then asked,
"What the hell is wrong with all the clocks in the house?"
"What's up?" I asked.
"I was listening to the radio and they said the time, I saw my alarm clock was fifteen minutes off and now I see all the clocks in the house are."
"Maybe there was a power outage." Ralph said.
"No they are all ahead fifteen minutes."
"What time does your watch say it is?" I asked him.
Jaen went to his bedroom and came out with his watch he looked at us and said, "That's fifteen minutes ahead too."
I know one could say if the clocks were all a head he may have just set his watch a head from them.
No you see we, Ralph, Jaen and I, watched tv for part of the night before and none of the programs had ended fifteen minutes after the hour.
They all ended on the half or on the hour, and because I tape most of the things I am interested in, the VCR was always set to the correct time.
It was later that morning I noticed I had a be-be sized bump in my nose.
This object was to vanish and return and alternate its place in both nasal passages over the next two years.
I now realize that at the time the bead in my nose was doing it's disappearing act was during the time that I was going back an forth getting Xrays, Cat Scans, and MRIs made of my spine, neck, and head for my doctors and those of, The Board Of Workers Compensation, and Social Security.
This is clear to me in hindsight but then, I was baffled by these appearances, the over night switching of it's nasal locality, then the disappearances, and reappearances of this object.
I never really took any notes down for I thought it to be organic, like a pimple.
Nor did I make notice of it, when it moved, vanished, or returned, if it was before, during, or after I had an appointment for any of the above mentioned medical examinations.
Later that week Ralph was to become very sick and go into the hospital.
He had come down with a very serious lung infection and had to be put on oxygen for almost a month.
He recovered but about two months later became ill again, and had to be re hospitalized.
In 1987 Ralph treated me to a trip to Virginia to visit our parents,
the one we were never able to take before first because of the management at the Federal Reserve and then secondly, because of my back injury.
We had been there for about two weeks and it was our last day before we were to return to New York.
Our father was driving us about showing us some of the old places we hadn't seen since we were children before we returned home.
After awhile he said he was hungry and asked if we wanted to eat and Ralph said he would like some franks.
"Franks!" I snorted " When we have mothers good food at home I'll wait."
Ralph ignored my comments and said,
"Let's go get some franks."
My father pulled into a parking lot of a small store called the Midget Mart, I chose to wait in the car for him and Ralph to return.
As we were pulling in I had noticed the water tower that stood behind our parents home and realized how close we were to the house and thought it was wasteful to spend time and money on franks when we could have been home in the time it was taking them to buy those damned things.
In a little while they returned and the moment they opened the car door, it hit me.
"That's them!' I gasped as the scent I had so long been looking for wafted into and filled the car.
"I've been looking for those franks for years." I said.
"What?" my father asked.
"Yes those franks I been looking all over New York for those franks."
"You won't find these in New York." he laughed,
"You will only get these down here, and only from the Midget Mart, that's a family store, they make these themselves, people come from all over to get these franks."
I took one and with the first bite was catapulted twenty one years backwards in time.
To that dark night on the road and realized, that was why we were there that night so long ago.
Uncle Jun (short for Junior) was driving us into town that evening to get us those very same franks for dinner.
Though I still don't have a clear memory of the chain of events but I now believe we had an encounter on that road as we were coming back.
I realized then that, the scent of the franks we were carrying home for dinner that night had to have been impressed on my mind during the time we were cringing in terror and trying to hide.
Then came the other memory which I had not thought about for years the day after that I discovered a small dark mole or bump had appeared over night on the side of my right foot.
Just as mysteriously, some years later a similar bump was to appear on my left ear lobe.
Back in the fifties when I was a kid this meant nothing at all to me and I promptly tried to put it out of my mind, but I do remember my thinking at that time,
"I guess "They" put it there." but never focused on who that They were that I thought had put it there.
After then the faceless "They" was to become a generic answer for most of my many other childhood mysteries.
One such mystery, I used this faceless "They" to explain was when I would find these little round black objects on the window sills and about the house.
These things were a little larger than the size of the ball in a ball point pen but they were covered with tiny hard hooks.
Today I would say they look like the tiny hooks on Velcro.
Every time I would find one of these things I would always say the same thing to myself.
"Oh They left one.", or, "I wonder how They make these.", but never could I focus on who, the "They" were I was talking about.
I would then promptly forget the question and then somehow loose or misplace the object.
All of these thoughts came flooding back into my mind with my first bite of that frank, and though it did unite some major mysteries of my life it really answered none of them.
March 25th 1988 5:00 AM Ralph died of aids the miraculous events about his death are told else where at this site and so I will not repeat them here. (See Nonts And Souls )
In 1989 Theresa bought me a round trip plane ticket and sent me down to Virginia to be with my parents for a weekend as a Mother's Day surprise.
I was living by myself then so I could not stay longer for Jaen had married and moved out, so there was no one home to look after my five dogs and cat.
My last night there I had a dream about Dotty, this very attractive woman and good friend I worked with at The Federal Reserve Bank.
In this dream she walked up to me, and kissed me fully on the mouth and I became self aware and I knew this was a dream.
"Oh boy I am going to have a wet dream! " I said to myself,
" Cool..... Safe sex!"
That was when she suddenly spun me around and bit me in the back and for the first time in over thirty years I felt the terrifying and hated sensation that Ralph and I called the " Googaly Feeling " surging through my body.
The Googaly Feeling was a name that Ralph and I used to describe a terrible yet pleasing sensation we often experienced at the hands of creatures we called the Window Peepers.
I can best describe it as an electrical like feeling that their touch would cause to course through our bodies.
It was not painful but over powering and caused you to feel every bone and joint in your body rattling against the other.
Even your teeth could be felt rattling in their bedding.
I today equate it with a skeletal orgasm, but that is only because it is as over powering as a sexual orgasm, your entire body completely yields to it.
You would feel the blood surging through your every vein and capillary.
Your mucus systems, your every organ and muscle and each and every part of your brain and eyes separately.
They did not hurt, you just felt them separately and to themselves vibrating at their own rate with in you, as this energy went racing through them.
It was a very intense tickling or itching, but as we all know there comes a point to where even tickling becomes torture.
This was not a gradual process but instantaneous and total.
I remember cussing it and screaming,
"Oh no not again, not after all these years, why did they have to start this all over again, no not this, not this again!"
Then I found myself wide awake and shivering from the cold, but laying on my stomach.
I thought it to be dawn because of the turquoise light filling the room.
Then I looked to my left and was startled to see what seemed to be a little old Chinese man dressed in light blue operating room scrubs even to the blue cap.
It just stood there staring at me as if it was waiting for my reaction.
Its large claw like hands on very thin arms were placed together and held before it in praying mantis fashion.
He seemed to be humped over as if bent forward so as to get a good look at me, and for me to get a good look at him.
If it had eye brows, which it did not, they would have been raised as if in expectation as if to say,
"Hi, do you remember me?"
At first I thought he was badly burnt, then as my eyes stopped vibrating and my vision began to once again focus and adjust to the strange lighting in the room, I saw that not only wasn't he burnt, but instead only very, very wrinkled, and that it was not a man at all, well at least it was not a human male.
It was a small humanoid it had sparse wispy stringy white baby fine hair on a huge bulbous cranium and long strands that came down along the chin line, and from the sides of it's mouth like a Foo Manchu mustache.
His ears were pointed but they lay flat back against the sides of its large head.
Its eyes took up most of its face and it had cats eye pupils that went straight up and down in green speckled golden yellow eyes.
You could also see white corneas at the inside and outside corners of it's pupils.
It had a small lump of a nose that was mainly little more than two nostrils as if the nose had been sliced down or off from the bridge.
I say this not to be funny but Michael Jackson and is Sister Latoya almost have the same nose.
It had a slit mouth but it could move it for it tried to smile as best it could with out lips.
It had what seemed to be baby teeth but it seemed that the teeth were not separate like ours but one solid piece like dentures but only they were just its real teeth.
Its teeth kind of bought to mind the beak of an octopus in shape but set in the jaws of a mouth.
What I had first thought were burns were very deep wrinkles set deep in its pale tan grey skin.
Its huge head swiveled atop a too thin and slender neck on very narrow shoulders.
On his forehead, was a band with a light in it like those the doctors used to wear in the old days, but from it was coming a quivering gelatinous turquoise light.
It was the touch of this light that was making me cold.
I to this day am not sure if it was that strange blue light or those huge unblinking eyes that kept me frozen in place on the bed.
I kept wondering to myself,
"Why am I not jumping off the bed, why am I not screaming?"
As I was thinking this I heard another part of me thinking,
"Oh, I remember you, you are my friend from long, long ago."
While the other part of me countered,
" Friend my ass, I don't know who or what that thing is, why aren't I running, why aren't I screaming?"
As I was thinking this the "Little Blue Doctor" as I called it reached out a four fingered claw like hand and gently with mechanical or marionette like movements began to pat me on my back.
Kind of like you would pet a beloved animal.
It was as if it was saying,
"Good boy, good boy, you remembered, you remembered, good boy." and yet it was as if it was also at the same time saying " Good bye, good bye, I am leaving now, you will not see me again."
It looked so old, so very old, and seemed to genuinely like me, and seemed very sad that it was not going to see me again.
I don't know how I know that but I got the idea either it was going away as if it was retiring, or perhaps knew it was going to die.
Either way I had the feeling something had changed, as if I had reached a new stage in the process of what ever had been going on before then and that things were going to be a lot different, as if their was going to be a new head of the lab or experiment so to say.
He seemed to really be trying not to scare me, but he knew I was, and seemed to understand why, and yet though I was frighten out of my mind there was still that part of me that was also very sad at the thought that I would not see him again.
It was as if we had a secret life together that all along I was never aware of, but yet I knew I'd never seen this thing before never, and that other part of me fought with me as if it trying to convince me I had.
Then pop, I was laying in the back of that car looking up into the black star filled sky through the back window on a darkened road side, not too far away from where I was now, on the other side of the mountain, on the other side of the water tower, over twenty years before.
There was only the sound of wind in the trees crickets and the scent of those franks.
Suddenly it was as if I had been turned off and the next thing I knew the sun light was now coming through the window.
That was the same day that I was finally to remember the actual form of the Universal Number.
As I was walking out of the door with Steve and Pop who were driving me back to the airport in south Carolina, Chuck called my attention to the memo board on which he had used thumb tacks to make the shape of the symbol of Jupiter and said, " Look The Universal Number."
"No," I said, "That's not right." and walked over to the board and corrected the symbol, for suddenly I could after thirty years remember it's exact appearance.
You can find it in the article called," The Lady On The Roof."
It was after I returned home that as I was toweling off after a shower I noticed I had a deep scoop mark on the back of my right shoulder at the point where Dotty had bitten me in the dream.
It looked just like the mark I had seen on Jaen's back.
( See The Long Dream.)
Jaen had married by then so I never had the chance to show it to him or compare it with his.
There was also something else different from that point on too, I started to see more UFOs over my home and later was allowed to take many videos of them.
The Program had changed and was to change a great deal more after that.
In the summer of 1991 I was "Takened" as I call it, from my home one night and taken to Lincoln Terrace Park by three seven foot smoke like entities.
I was brought to the same field where I had dreamed the hospital was some six years before.
Two huge rings twenty one feet across were left at that site, one ring contained the shape of a triangle the other contained the shape of a key.
I have posted Jpegs from the tape I made of these rings at this site please see the article (Skyroglyphics.)
It was that event that made me realize that all those many so called "Vivid Dreams" as they were called by my parents, that I had, had as a child and an adult, had not been dreams at all, but were the real thing.
Two years later I ran into Bernard on the subway and asked him to come over and visit awhile for I now had a cam corder and wanted to tape his testimony about the time the VCD Player turned it self on.
We had not seen each other since our last meeting years before, for Bernard soon after that had moved to Washington DC.
I was telling him about some of the things that had been happening in my life it was as I was telling Bernard about what had happened the night that followed the VCD turning itself on.
Of my dream and Ralph's encounter with The Little Blue Doctors (LBDs), the fifteen minute jump in time if that what it was, and I had just began to tell him about my encounter the year before with the (LBD) and the Googaly Feeling it had caused in me when he suddenly said "Hold on a minute Butch, that sounds like a spinal tap."
He then went on to tell me that he had a year before, had a bout with Meningitis and, as a result had to have a spinal tap done.
Then he said that my description of The Googaly Feeling was kind of what a spinal tap felt like.
With that more pieces began to fall in place, the LBD had been aware of my back injury, that was why I was laying on my stomach when I awoke.
It had been looking at my spine.
I now also think I finally understand what The Googaly Feeling was all about.
It was their way of giving an instant medical examination.
In one shot everything is checked.
These entities being telepathic can link into your mind as this energy is sweeping through you and read the data so to say as each part of you vibrates.
This all saves time and energy.
And before you Newagers ask.
"No I don't think they healed me for I still have the same conditions I had before then,
I think they were only giving me and exam like we do other animals."
The one thing that puzzles me is that in all my experiences these things are always present in groups of threes.
I did not see the other two or have any sense of them being around.
I now feel this was the beginning of a test on the LBD's behalf to see if I could now be approached by Them in their real form and on a fully conscious level?
If so I failed miserably. (See Quantumantics The Language Of The ET.)
Click above to read more about the Little Blue Doctor
Then five years ago because of an ulceration under my foot that would not heal but had gotten infected, I was diagnosed with diabetes, I had to have a bone scan done for they feared that the infection had actually entered my skeletal system.
As the scanner was passing over me one of the doctors running the cat scan suddenly said,
"What the hell is that?!"
At that moment the Cat Scan cut off and shut down and wiped all the data it had taken
This can be proven because they had to have the company come in and re calibrate the machinery.
I was then sent to the old cat scanning unit they had and when it too reached the area of this object it too malfunctioned and would not record me below my neck.
Where upon the Head Doctor got angered sent my original doctor home, and turned up the voltage or amps, I guess you'd call it, of the machine so high, that I could feel what seemed like heat coming from the machine as it passed over me.
Then I felt the thing under my skin on my neck get hot and pop or crack, but this time it did work on the screen I saw my skeletal system but at my neck it looked like a light was radiating from the area of the object, and it also showed the same light radiating from a area I also know another one of these objects seem to be at my scrotum.
To this day I feel that the Head Doctor did this deliberately, but I can not prove that, and I don't know why I felt and still feel this way about his actions.
The way he ran out of the room to me is what leads me to suspect that he knew he had turned it up too damned high.
I was also upset because I did not like the fact that the doctor may have broken the only probe I could say that I was aware of being there from day one.
I knew when it was put there, but I have no memory of it being put there.
I knew it was placed there when I was sixteen because of a dream that I had the night before I discovered it on my neck.
In this dream I had been taken aboard a craft by human looking aliens.
In it they were showing me about their craft and I asked them to show me a picture of their home world.
I was taken to a blue window through which I saw a dead tree in a dessert.
I grew angry for I thought they were deceiving me and I called them liars saying that no life could exist on such a world.
It wasn't until I woke up that I realized they could have been showing me how their world looked at the present, for I only had asked them to show me their world.
It was also that morning that I saw that something had been placed under the skin of my neck, right above my collar bone and below my throat.
It feels like hard plastic and bends to the touch it looks like a scare from a stoma, or a keloid but I have never had an injury here and the thing is under the dermis, which is not any different than the rest of the skin of my body.
The reason this stands out in my mind is that after that I started having what I called Blue Dreams.
These dreams would begin with me being taken to a blue window and told to look through it.
Dreams that began as this all turned out to be prophetic.
This happened in 1967 long before the talk of implants and such things were even heard of yet I vaguely knew that this had three purposes one to keep track on where I was, and they could somehow see and hear what I was doing and thinking, but it also had to do with communication for after that I would some times be asked questions through it about the actions of people and events that occurred about me.
One example of this that stands out happened that same year as I was going down to 555 5th Avenue to meet my mother after work on her night job to ride with her back uptown I was confronted by two white men and a woman that threatened that they were going to beat the hell out of me for being on fifth avenue, and then say that I attacked them saying they did it in self defense, and then told me no one would believe me or would even care because I was just another nigger.
I was able to run and get away from them, but was terrified they would tell the police a lie and I'd be arrested for something I did not do.
Once I was able to get away from them and catch my breath I was asked by the thing in my neck why had they done that.
I explained that people like me where hated by people like them, and then my having to explain to them why we were so hated by them.
The funny thing in my trying to explain things to them I came to understand much more about human nature myself so often as I was teaching them I was learning myself.
Understand the conversation was all with in my mind, but when "They"
spoke though I heard it in my mind and heart, I felt it come from the thing in my neck.
For almost to years it asked me about peoples action toward me and mine toward people and why we the human race did as we did some I could answer others I couldn't, hell I was only a kid.
Then one day they just stopped asking questions and fell silent.
It would be sixteen years later that I was again to hear from them and that was when I finally understood the Koan given to me when I was six years old by a woman at my first conscious abduction.
This was why the thought that the thing in my neck had been damaged by the Cat Scan made me so upset.
To me was like an old friend had died, no had been murdered by that doctor that day.
When I returned home the electronics in my apartment went crazy as it does when "THEY" are around.
The Tvs, VCRs, and cable boxes started to cut themselves off and on, and I and my nephew started to see the Quick Shadows about the house.
The next day I awoke to find now I had a triangular object under the skin on the back of my left hand.
Later that day, as I was preparing my dinner, while watching a old tape of a tv show that I had taped, but not had the time to watch.
It was of " Babylon 5 ", in it one of the characters was hit by a fire ball, and suddenly all the lights went out for a second in my apartment and the tv showed some country singer, Hank Williams I think his name was, singing,
"Hey good looking what you got cooking, how about cooking something up with me?"
I laughed thinking it was part of the show and rewound the tape while it was still in the play mode but I did not see the country singer on the tape.
Thinking I missed him, I hit play and let the tape run again, but this time when the fire ball hit the character, he just flew back into a wall and collapsed on the floor.
The country singer did not appear on the tape and the program went on to show a commercial.
I turned off the VCR and suddenly there was the country singer and he sang the exact line he had sung before.
This was part of a show about rock and roll history that was being aired on P.B.S that day.
I later came to realize I had been given a series of Quantumantic messages.
The first message was a pun about how I felt under the Cat Scan after the Head Doctor turned it up, I felt like I was being nuked, or cooked in a micro wave.
Meaning they were aware of what had happened in the hospital the day before with the thing in my neck.
The second message was that I was cooking my first "diabetically correct" meal of my life.
They were saying they were aware of what I was cooking, and why I was cooking it, meaning that they understood that, because of my diabetes I had to go under the Cat Scan.
The third message was just as easily as they had turned off the lights in my apartment they had turned off the Cat Scan.
I still have no idea if the show had run that clip twice or not for I did not watch it, but either way if the tv station did run it, it was too much of a coincidence, to be a coincidence, that the VCR would cut off at just that moment long enough to catch that line then cut back on with out jumping back to the point before it cut off as VCRs will do.
Also if it wasn't aired then "They" were showing me how they could alter time by jumping ahead in time for a second to show me something that was not yet aired, but to be aired, as a way of proving that what had just happened was their doing and not a tape glitch.
This also meant that if they could alter time they could have gotten in and removed the implant and put it back with out ever being seen if they had a wish to do so.
So the movement and popping I had felt could have just as well been "Them" removing and replacing the thing in my neck.
In other words they were saying I should stop worrying, as I was, about what had happened for they could have stopped it if they wanted to.
The fact that this again occurred as the fire ball hit was just them being funny, despite what we are told "They" always use synchronicity to express their sense of humor.
The meaning to this was "We saw you get fried."
Now here I know you can say well the tape stopped when the power went out and the tv then showed what was being run on the channel at that time.
This would make sense but the problem is if it was a power outage the VCR would have went out and staid out not come back on and resumed playing from where it stopped.
In addition I had several other VCRs and answering machines coming out of that same connection all of them would have to have been reset, yet none of them did.
The other point I must make is that the tv was showing Hank Willaims while all the other things in the house had cut off the tv should have went out too for it was all coming out of the same wall socket.
When I had my second bone scan the houses electricity again went crazy I assume they were just back to adjust the thing in my neck or my hand.
I do not like to mess with these objects.
When I had to go back for another bone scan the Head Doctor looked at me and asked, "You're not going to break our machines again today are you?"
So he remembered me and the incident that was when he told me about the complete loss of all the data for that day and that they had to have the cat scan re calibrated and that he had been told by the technician sent to fix it this had never happened before.
This time I went through with a minor problem but they where able to redo it and complete the scan this time.
Well last Sunday all this reached another level with my physically pulling an object from out of my back that I know appeared soon after I had been injured in 1985.
I then thought it was just a boil forming but fifteen years later it never came to a head.
It never really bothered me until the ending of March and the beginning of April, then it became sore to the touch and caused me pain if I rolled over on it as I was sleeping.
I began to pick at it thinking I could force it to finally coming to a head.
So I did to it as I do with all boils that are causing me pain I took a sterilized pin and scratched the surface of it just enought to make it bleed with hopes to draw the infection toward the epidermis as the blood flowed.
Normally a small scab would form and once this is removed the infection would drain also.
I did this with my back and the next morning felt a stinging.
Thinking it was the boil ready to drain I reached back to remove the scab but my nail hooked under something and I griped it and pulled thinking it was just the scab.
To my shock, disgust, and terror I found myself holding the object in the picture and bleeding from a deep wound in my back.
The object was attached in my back at both ends and my epidermis and dermis had been neatly split as if by a knife and the object was out side of the skin.
It has been two weeks now and the opening has closed and has not bled since the object was removed there is no longer any pain there and the wound is almost gone now.
The funny thing is the night before I dreamed that the house had been full of people and among them I saw alien entities.
I paid no attention to the dream for the Night before I had, had the meeting of the Moonstruck Group, a UFO and Paranormal Discussion Group I am a co founder of, and then I went with a friend to a Jazz Club in the West Village, so I just assumed the dream was a result of the meeting and the club from the night before.
Never did I expect that such a thing was within me and I do not feel it was an accident that I was able to remove it.
Then later that week I called a friend From The Moonstruck Dinner to tell him about the thing I removed from my back but before I could tell him anything he started talking about a nose bleed he had, had the Monday that followed the Sunday I removed the thing.
Then he started to tell me about others that had nose bleeds the same day.
He spoke about a friend of a mutual friend of ours that said her friend, an actress from a day time soap, had been on her way home in a taxi and had a sighting of a huge orange glowing craft above the trees of Central Park in Manhattan the night before.
If any of this is connected to what happened to me on Sunday I don't know or venture a guess about.
Once again I think that "The Program" is about to enter a new phase.
What it is or will be, I do not know but I will keep you posted.
Earlier this year I decided to get my medical records together cat scan xrays and all to my surprise I was told that all of my Cat Scan and xrays were gone. as of yet I still have not received any information as to what happened to them.
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